My thoughts on the day after the election…..
I think those of us living in Barron Park and Greenacres can agree that we have just been through a period that has challenged our community’s cohesiveness. The PAHC housing proposal along Maybell had its supporters but it brought out an amazing outpouring of anger and opposition from many in the neighborhood.
The Measure D campaign was contentious. People had to choose sides. But now that the election is over, it’s time to repair frayed personal relationships, and to learn from this experience and just accept the fact that good friends do not necessarily share similar political views.
Arguments and disagreements, private and public, are not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, that’s how democracy is supposed to work. It is a good thing if people are willing to listen to what others have to say, are willing to learn something new, to compromise even if they disagree on some points, and are not hyper-sensitive to slights or criticism. On the other hand, it’s not good if disputes get out of hand and possibly rupture long standing bonds of personal friendship. There’s been lots of back and forth debate, some of which has been less than illuminating or edifying.
So, we should take some time to reflect on some of the heated exchanges and see if problems were caused by what was said or how it was said…or written – some heated exchanges were in emails. People sometimes will say things in email that they would not say in person, and sometimes regret it immediately afterward. Reflect and take a deep breath, and reread your message before you push that send button. When using our BPA-issues, my suggestion is to direct your argument and comments to the entire group of subscribers, not to a single individual, try to elevate the discussion rather than denigrate the author of a previous email, and avoid cheerleading.
Even after taking care with your message, it’s sometimes not possible to avoid becoming embroiled in a heated exchange when people misconstrue your words. Folks can misread your words in ways that are difficult to anticipate, and those preoccupied with real or imagined slights are quick to counterattack and the exchange can elevate and become personal and unpleasant. In those cases, there’s not much you can do about that besides halting the exchange if you see yourself caught up in a debate with someone like that.
This year’s street scape Halloween decoration featured the red and yellow of the lawn signs and countersigns. It’s now time for us to pull back from confrontation as we pull up the lawn signs, and repair whatever bonds we can that were broken within our community. Let’s all try to reengage each other with respect – respect different opinions, accept that others can honestly disagree with you, listen to what is being said before reacting and immediately sending off a response. Think independently and don’t necessarily rely on any group for answers. Let’s return our community discourse into a more civil tone, and not allow any leftover bitterness, alienation, and divisiveness within our neighborhood have any long-lasting effects upon future cooperation among friends and neighbors. We’re going to be living together after this election and probably the next election, and a long time after that.
Art Liberman